Any Man

[Eminem]
Hi!
Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face
Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase
I laced the weed with insect repellant, better check the smelly
Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling
with a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple
I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my adam's apple
Somebody dropped me on my head, and I was sure
that my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her
I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months
and said, "I'm ready now bitch - ain't you feelin these kicks cunt?"
The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell
I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in hell
I'm sick of these sperm cells with syphillis germs
and I'm hotter than my dick is, when I piss and it burns
I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach
and vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it
(Yuck!) Hit you in the head with a brick til you plummet
If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick til you numb it
And all that gibberish you was spittin, you need to kill it
Cause your style is like dyin in my sleep, I don't feel it

Chorus: Eminem

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- hello, hi!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- do you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy

[Eminem]
I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin
I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym
I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias
to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens
A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium
than a maniac Saudi Arabian
A highly combustible head, spazmatic
strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed
Laid up in the hospital in critical condition
I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician
High speed, IV full of thai weed
Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like siamese
twins, joined at the groin like lesbians
Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins
I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends
on if I keep on killin my girlfriends

Chorus: Eminem

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- listen!!
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy

[Eminem]
Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust
and got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed
(Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say
I call in to work, cause all I do is frolic and play
I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day
of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH)
Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin
Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine
Scratched my balls til I shredded skin
"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"
"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then
I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows
that don't even make sense, like dykes usin dildos
So reach in your billfolds, for ten ducats
and pick up this Slim Shady shit that's on Rawkus
Somethin somethin somethin, somethin I get weeded
My daughter scribbled over that rhyme, I couldn't read it
Damn!

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me? Ha?
Is fuckin crazy -- Hello? Yow
Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan
for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin
is fuckin crazy -- you hear me?
Is fuckin crazy
Listen.

Hi
Something's not right
I'm sorry, I'm mentally retarded
Slim Shady, I think that's my name
Rawkus Records, fuckin crazy
Can you hear us, we're fuckin crazy
All of us
Hi, bye
Nice something.

As The World Turns

Chorus: Repeat 2X
[background]
I dont know why this world keeps turning
Round and Round
But I wish it would stop, and let me off right now

Yes man
As the World Turns
We all experience things in life
Trials and Tribulations
That we all must go through
When someone wants to test us
When someone tries our patience

[Eminem]
I hang with a bunch of hippies
and wacky tobacco planters
Who swallow lit roaches
and light up like jack-o-lanterns
Outsiders baby, and we suing the courts
Cuz we're dope as fuck and only get a 2 in the source, (Yo!)
They never should've booted me out of reform school
Deformed fool, takin' a shit in a warm pool
They threw me out the Ramada Inn
I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!)
It all started when my mother took my bike away
Cuz I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave
After that, It was straight to the 40 ouncers
Slappin teachers, and jackin' off in front of my counselors
Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman
Fuck the next lesson, I'll pass the test guessin'
And all the other kids said "Eminem's a jizhead,
He'll never last, the only class he'll pass is phys ed."
May be true, till I told this bitch in gym class
That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed Slim Fast
(Who Me?)
Yeah, bitch!
You so big you walked into big Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig
She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig
Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig
I felt the evilness and started transformin' (RRRRRR!)
It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarmin'
Grabbed that bitch by her hair
Drug her across the ground
And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down
Sorry coach, it's too late to tell me stop
While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop

[Backround Chorus]

As the World Turns
These are the days of our lives
These are the things that we must go through
Day by day

[Eminem]
We drive around in million dollar sports cars
While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards
Outsiders, and we suing the courts
Cuz we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source (Yo!)
Hypercondriac, hanging out at the laundromat
Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at (whistling)
Dressed like a sailor, standin' by a pale of garbage
Its almost dark and I'm still tryin' to nail a trailor park bitch
I met a slut and said "What up, its nice to meet ya" ("Hi")
I'd like to treat ya to a Faygo and a slice of pizza
But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month ("Sorry")
But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt
But I aint got no weed, no phillies, or no papers
Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist
So gimme all your money
And don't try nuttin funny
Cuz you know your stinkin' ass is too fat to try to outrun me
I went to grab my gun
Thats when her ass put it on me (Stop!)
Wit an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry
I fell through the glass doors
Started causin' a scene
Then slid across the floor and flew right into a washin' machine
Jumped up with a broken back
Thank god I was smokin' crack all day
And doped up off coke and smack
All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse
Now I wanna kill her
But so I gotta catch her first
Ran through Rally's parkin lot and took a shortcut
Saw the house she ran up in
And shot her fuckin' porch up
Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut
Looked around the room
Thats when I seen the bedroom door shut
I know you're in there bitch! I got my gun cocked!
You might as well come out now
She said "Come in, its unlocked!"
I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne
And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin' gay porn
She said "Come her big boy, lets get acquainted"
I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it
She came at me at full speed, nothin' could stop her
I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her
I started to beg "No, please let go"
But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll
With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled
I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple
Just tryin' to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick -
Duh Da Duh Da Duh Duh, Go go gadget dick!
Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it
It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage
I shouted "Now bitch, lets see who gets the best!"
Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ahh!! Ahhh!)
Come here bitch!
Come here!
Take this motherfuckin dick!
Bitch, come here!

Chorus to fade

And as we go along (uh-huh)
Throughout the days of our lives
We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday
That we must go through
These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere
Every day
Every single day the world keeps turning

Ass like that

[Eminem]
I'll Be................
Wooo...

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like "THAT"
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

I don't believe it
It's almost too good to be true
I ain't never seen a ass like "THAT"
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

[Verse 1]:
The way she moves she's like a belly danca
She's shakin that ass to the new nelly jamsa
I think someone's at the door, but I don't think I'ma answer
Police saying freeze.
Da Doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze?
Please I'm a human being
I have needs, I'm not done
Not till I'm finished peeing
I am not resisting arrest, I am agreeing
Mister officer, I'm already on my knees
I can't get on the ground any further it's impossible for me
And do not treat me like a murderer, I just like to pee
Pee, pee, yes I make R'n'B
I sing song, it go ring a chong
A Ching chong chong chong ching
Syke, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
If I offend, I'm sorry please please forgive
For I am Triumph the Puppet Dog, I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I say and you will love it

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like "THAT"
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

Jessica Simpson looks oh so temptin
Nick, I've never seen a ass like "THAT"
Everytime I see that show on MTV my pee pee goes
Da Doing doing doing

[Verse 2]:
Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now they gettin older and startin to grow bum bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn
Police saying freeze...Da Doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze?
Jeez, I just got my seat
I have ticket, look I put away my zipper's zip
Please do not remove me from this movie theater please
I did not even get to see Mary-Kate's shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great big scene
And don't treat me like I'm Pee Wee Herman
This movie's P.G, mister officer
I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea and be free
Free,yes, free, right back on the streets
What do you mean my lawyer is with Michael
He's too busy, I am Triumph
Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you laugh
cuz there's a puppet on my hand [ha-ha-haaaaa]

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like "THAT"
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

Hilary Duff is
Not quite old enough so
I've never seen a butt like "THAT"
Maybe next year I'll say ass
And she'll make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

[Verse 3]:
The way she moves she dances like a gogo
In that video she sings "Get Out you Bozo,
I need a new boyfriend, Hi my name is JoJo"
Police saying freeze... Da Doing doing doing

What do you mean freeze?
My computers will be seized
And my keys to my ranch, I just baked cookies
Mister officer, lookie, take a whiff of these
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this
Nobody is safe from me, no not even me
I don't even know if I can say the word 'pee-pee'
Pee, on the radio, but I think I did
Janet, is that a breast I think I just saw a teat!
Syke, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid!
I don't think my joke is working, I must flee
Quick, get to the chopper, everybody get out
I'm not Triumph, I'm Arnold, get down

[Hook n Eminem]
The way you shake it
I can't believe it
I ain't never seen a ass like "THAT"
The way you move it
You make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

So Gwen Stefani,will you pee-pee on me please?
I've never seen a ass like "THAT"
Cuz the way you move it
you make my pee pee go
Da Doing doing doing

[DR. DRE]
FUCK is wrong with you? Ha!

Bad Guys always die

Dr. Dre:
All you see is the sun, reflecting off of the gun
Ready for the showdown, to go down, at one
Sweat on my brow, let's settle it now
I'ma show you how real cowboys get down
Polish the gold, waiting for this drama to unfold
I got a blunt rolled
Feelin' bold, gangsta's blood runs cold
It's time to reload this old 45 colt
The wind's gusty, it's hot muggy and dusty
Bust a couple shots to make sure I'm not rusty
It's passed noon, he should be here soon
sip a little moonshine inside a saloon
All of a sudden I can hear the sounds of hooves
Sound like a thousand wolves
I cock back, with the toast in the holster and frooze
I pose as a poster, he's closer than close
I hold the heat sturdy, I heard he fight's dirty
But I'ma put thirty inside and leave early
Just when I went to fill him with hot lead
I put the gun to his head, and this is what he said

Eminem:
You never met me, you'll probably never see me again
But I know you, the name is Slim
You want revenge then don't shoot
I'm in the same boots as you
I'm telling the truth, I got a price on my head too, cause when you

Chorus:
Ride like a cowboy toward the sun
Life ain't fun, when your on the run
Got your gold and you got your gun
Life as an outlaw just begun
Got your shotgun by your side
Got your horse and you got your pride
You ride till there ain't no place to hide
It's sad cause the bad guys always die

Dr. Dre:
He was shady, could see it by the look on his face
He said take ten paces, shit, I took eight
Spun around and I aimed straight for the brain
The shit went bang but it only fired a blank, he said
{Eminem: You need bullets, hurry up run}
I put a clip in the gun, and pointed at his lungs
He pulled two at the same time and stood stunned
{Eminem: Go ahead shoot me, but I'm not the one you want}
I figured he was telling the truth, that's why I didn't shoot
So what we gonna do, it's on you

Eminem:
Do you recall when you and Snoop was a group
{Dre: the Chronic}
Well all we gotta do is find a map to part two
And plus I know who's got it (Who)
Some old dude, he's got 26 plaques and he already sold two

Dr. Dre:
Loaded up my saddle, got ready for battle
Hid two pieces of gold inside of my satchel
We rode two miles until we hit the spot
An old ghost town that everybody forgot
A place where they used to smoke chronic a lot
Slim grabbed the shotgun

Eminem:
Dre here's the plot
This is the spot, they call him Doc Loveless
He's going around saying he took the game from us
{Dre: Let's shoot him in the kneecaps, he'll never see it coming}
He ain't got no legs, they cut them off at the stomach
He's got mechanical legs, he spins webs
Plus he's well respected by the hip-hop heads
Our mission, is to get him to stop laying eggs
And we can put him on his back down a flight of steps

Dr. Dre:
I drew two guns, spun them on my fingers
Kicked the swinging doors in, and started gun slinging
I could hear somebody singing
It sounded like a G Thang, and a verse from Keep Their Heads Ringing
I said it's Dre's Day and started to spray
It's 1800, he pulls an AK
Hollow tips started flying every which way

Eminem:
That's when I seen Dre in trouble and came with the gage
I fired the first shot, spun his body around
He hit the ground and landed upside down
Dre grabbed the map, the plaques and the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a blunt that's rolled

Chorus:
Ride like a cowboy toward the sun
When life ain't fun, when your on the run
Got your gold and you got your gun
Life as an outlaw just begun
Got your shotgun by your side
Got your horse and you got your ride
You ride till there ain't no place to hide
It's sad cause the bad guys always die
Ride like a cowboy toward the sun
When life ain't fun, when your on the run
Got your gold and you got your gun
life as an outlaw just begun
Got your shotgun by your side
Got your horse and you got your pride
You ride till there ain't no place to hide
It's sad cause the bad guys always die