11. rész

Tom: "Now, I take it you didn't play the tuba."
Karl: "No, I didn't."
Tom: "All I know is, I was a lonely, insecure tuba player. Girls like Gabrielle would just rip my heart out."
Edie: "Aw."
Tom: "I didn't even had my first kiss until I was eighteen."
Karl: "Eighteen?"
Tom: "Pathetic, I know."
Gabrielle: "Poor baby. I would've kissed you."
Tom: "No, you wouldn't have."
Gabrielle: "Yes, I would have."
Tom: "No, you wouldn't have. And it's okay, Gaby. Those scars healed a long time ago."
Gabrielle: "Oh, for god sakes, come here. Now on behalf of all the cheerleaders in the world, forgive us."

Susan: "Hey, what happened to the Applewhites? I thought you were gonna invite them."
Bree: "I did. Betty never R.S.V.P.'d."
Edie: "What do you guys think about the Applewhites?"
Susan: "I like 'em, very nice. Very..."
Bree: "…interesting."
Susan: "Right, interesting."
Edie: "Hmm, they weird me out, too."
Susan: "Well, that's not what we're saying."
Bree: "Not exactly, anyway."

Susan: "Zach is back!"
Mike: "Yeah, yeah, I know."
Susan: "You do?"
Mike: "Yeah, he's been back for a couple of days now."
Susan: "Well, that's great, isn't it?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Susan: "I thought you'd be happy about it. I thought that's what you wanted."
Mike: "I was hoping that I'd slowly establish a relationship with Zach and then when we were comfortable, I'd tell him I was his real dad. But now Paul's back."
Susan: "And he doesn't want you anywhere near him."
Mike: "He's threatened to tell the police everything that happened in the desert, that I held a gun to his head."
Susan: "Well, it's your word against his."
Mike: "But he doesn't have a record and I do."
Susan: "You know, despite what I did, sending Zach away, I want you two to connect. I hope you know that."
Mike: "I do. And on the bright side, I don't have to wonder where he is anymore."

Paul: "It says that you can do a report on anything from the suggested reading list, which includes The Old Man and The Sea, The Pearl, Much Ado About Nothing. Hmm. That sounds good. What do you like?"
Zach: "I don't care."
Paul: "Let's start with The Pearl. It's got a sad ending, but it's good. We'll start with that. You know, it's not gonna be so bad. I think you’re really gonna like being home schooled. Okay, I know this isn't what you want. But I need to keep you close to me just for a while. There are people in this neighborhood who aren't thrilled that we're back. People I don't trust."
Zach: "People like Mike Delfino?"
Paul: "Why would you say that?"
Zach: "When you disappeared, Mrs. Tilman said that Mike took you somewhere to kill you."
Paul: "That's ridiculous. Why would Mike wanna kill me?"
Zach: "Because you murdered Mrs. Huber?"
Paul: "What did you say?"
Zach: "Well, Mrs. Tilman said that you murdered Mrs. Huber because she was blackmailing mom."
Paul: "And you believed her?"
Zach: "No, not exactly. I mean, why? Should I?"
Paul: "Zach, you know me better than anyone. Do you honestly believe that I am capable of murder?"
Zach: "No."
Paul: "All right, then."
Zach: "Of course, I didn't think mom was capable of suicide, either."
Paul: "On second thought, why don't we start with Much Ado About Nothing? I think we could use a few laughs around here."

Edie: "Hey, you!"
Monroe: "Yeah?"
Edie: "What's the deal? You've been parked on our street for two hours."
Monroe: "Oh, I'm doing a property appraisal. Some neighbors of yours are thinking about moving."
Edie: "The Applewhites?"
Monroe: "I'm not really allowed to say."
Edie: "I sold them that house. You know, this is my turf! Who do you work for? Geist Realty? Ah, Westside Properties. Yeah, well, whoever it is, you go back and you tell your bosses that nobody and I mean, nobody, buys or sells properties in this neighborhood without going through Edie Britt, you got that?"
Monroe: "Look, lady I just go where I'm told."
Edie: "You look, you cross me, and I will be your worst nightmare. I'm a dangerous woman. You don't wanna mess with me."
Monroe: "You got it."

Bree: "Hi!"
Lynette: "Hey, you're out early."
Bree: "Oh, I just wanted to pick up some fresh croissants for breakfast."
Lynette: "Oh, cool. Listen, I just wanted you to know I appreciated you backing me up last night, you know, with the kiss thing."
Bree: "To be honest, I don't think I would've liked it, either."
Lynette: "Yeah, but I probably should've just gone with it. Gaby was just being Gaby, having fun."
Bree: "No, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, given her history."
Lynette: "What do you mean?"
Bree: "You know, the affair."
Lynette: "Gaby had an affair?"
Bree: "You didn't know?"
Lynette: "No!"
Bree: "I thought everybody knew. Oh, I feel awful."

Bree: "Okay, first of all, I want you to march back upstairs and tell your friend he is no longer welcome in this house."
Andrew: "But we haven't even had breakfast yet!"
Bree: "I am serious, Andrew. You tell him to get out of here this second or I will call the police, and I will have him removed!"
Andrew: "Well, go ahead, call 'em."
Bree: "Oh, you think I won't?"
Andrew: "I just wonder how they'll react when they find out that you killed George Williams."
Bree: "I didn't kill George."
Andrew: "Well, no, but you sat there and let him die, which, I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there's a crime in there somewhere."
Bree: "Andrew..."
Andrew: "Don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm glad you did it. But when the cops get here, my official position will be, uh, "oh, my god, I'm being raised by a homicidal maniac." I think I might even throw in a few tears."
Bree: "You would actually let the police arrest your own mother?"
Andrew: "Hey, we all gotta cut the apron strings at some point."

Lynette: "Hey!"
Tom: "Hey, honey. Hey, did you get the bread?"
Lynette: "Oh, yeah, they were out."
Tom: "Of bread?"
Lynette: "Yeah. Hey, Gaby. A surprise seeing you here."
Gabrielle: "Well, I saw that Tom was overwhelmed, so I thought I'd give him a hand."
Lynette: "Really? Well, that was nice of you."
Gabrielle: "Is there a problem?"
Lynette: "No."
Gabrielle: "Really? Because I sense that you're annoyed you found me here when you weren't home. Am I wrong?"
Tom: "Lynette?"
Lynette: "Okay. Yeah. So exactly what are you doing here helping out?"
Gabrielle: "Damn it, Lynette, if this has to do with that stupid kiss the other night, I'm gonna lose it!"
Tom: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on?"
Gabrielle: "Lynette thinks I was hitting on you at Bree's party."
Tom: "That's ridiculous."
Lynette: "I never said that. What I said was it made me uncomfortable when you kissed him. It's obviously an issue for me. And yet, here you are, alone in my kitchen with my husband. So you tell me, are you hitting on him?"
Tom: "Lynette."
Gabrielle: "I can't believe you. I have done nothing to deserve this kind of mistrust."
Lynette: "Well, that's not entirely true."
Gabrielle: "What does that mean?"
Lynette: "Come on, Gaby. It's a small town. People talk."
Tom: "Okay, what's going on here?"
Gabrielle: "I'll tell you. Your wife doesn't trust me around you because I had an affair with my teenage gardener."
Tom: "Oh."

Gabrielle: "So I know Susan Mayer would never tell. It must've been Helen Rowland. She probably blabbed to all the girls at the salon. And Ida Greenberg goes to that salon. So if Ida knows, the whole town knows. And we're just gonna have to move. That's all there is to it. Carlos, can you stop putting for two seconds and show me some support?"
Carlos: "What do you expect me to do? You brought this on yourself."
Gabrielle: "It was a harmless little kiss! Why is everybody making a big deal about this?"
Carlos: "Because you had an affair with an underage gardener. People don't think you're harmless. They see you as a predator."
Gabrielle: "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Punishing me, dangling the affair over my head? Well, I won't tolerate it."
Carlos: "Really? So just what are you gonna do about it?"
Gabrielle: "I'm gonna let you even the score. Carlos, go have an affair."
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "I had my little indiscretion. So you go have yours. Get it out of your system. I know you want to."
Carlos: "I do not."
Gabrielle: "Sure you do. Knock yourself out. Call up an old college flame. Rent a call girl. Fly to Africa and nail that little nun you've been drooling over. I don't care!"
Carlos: "You're crazy."
Gabrielle: "No, I'm pragmatic. Because once you finish your fling, we'll be equals again. And then you won't be able to judge me. And we can go back to being a boring, average married couple. Oh, just do me a favor. Don't bring back any diseases."

Susan: "You okay?"
Zach: "Yeah, I'm fine, it's just, I don't understand what you're doing."
Mike: "What do you mean?"
Zach: "Well, I don't understand why you're being so nice to me. I mean, I pointed a gun at you guys. I, I, you should hate me."
Susan: "We don't hate you, Zach. You had an incredibly hard year. And you shouldn't have done what you did, but we just wanna help you move on."
Mike: "Look, um, when I was young, I got mixed up in some really bad stuff. I even did some time in prison."
Zach: "Really?"
Mike: "Yeah, but when I got out, people were willing to forgive me. Everybody deserves a second chance."
Zach: "Thanks."
Susan: "You know, I'm gonna go, uh, help Julie with the food. So you guys just keep talking and bowling. Talk and bowl. Bowl and talk."
Mike: "Here, let me show you something. See the arrows right in the middle? Just roll it straight over the one in the center. Okay. You don't have to spin it or anything. Just right down the middle. Look at that! Good job."

Carlos: "Hey, neighbor."
Lynette: "Oh, hey, Carlos. Hi."
Carlos: "I just wanted to thank you for patching things up with Gaby."
Lynette: "Well, sure, no problem."
Carlos: "It's been really tough on her. Everybody finding out about the affair."
Lynette: "Yeah, I can imagine."
Carlos: "I don't mind telling you, it's, uh, it's been pretty tough on us the past couple months."
Lynette: "Oh, well, I'm not surprised, and I really, really hope you can work it out."
Carlos: "Yeah, we're trying. You know..."
Lynette: "Yeah?"
Carlos: "Gaby had an interesting suggestion."
Lynette: "Oh?"
Carlos: "She told me that I should go out and have an affair of my own. She thinks it's the only way I'll be able to get over what she did to me and that it just might help our marriage."
Lynette: "Why are you telling me this?"
Carlos: "I guess I just, uh, wanted to know if you had any thoughts on the subject?"
Lynette: "I don't. I really don't."
Carlos: "Well, if you ever do, let me know. By the way..."
Lynette: "Mm-hmm?"
Carlos: "That was one hell of a kiss you gave me. You can't fake chemistry like that."

Bree: "How'd it go?"
Susan: "Well I told them everything I know which wasn’t much."
Gabrielle: "So we thinking this is Paul?"
Lynette: "Well, he is our friendly neighborhood murderer."
Bree: "Yes, it seems obvious."
Susan: "I don’t know. I saw his face when he looked into the trunk and he looked just as shocked as I was."
Edie: "I'm thinking it's the Applewhites. I talked to the dead guy and that he said he was doing appraisal on their house. Well, I got a little cheesed so I called every realtor in town. Nobody had even heard of him."
Lynette: "That doesn’t mean Betty knew him."
Edie: "Please. Those two are fishy. They bought that house sight unseen."
Gabrielle: "And they did move in the middle of the night."
Susan: "And there were the noises."
Bree: "What noises?"
Susan: "Oh, a couple weeks ago I heard some noises coming from the basement like a clanging. And I asked Betty about it. She lied right to my face."
Lynette: "What's that about?"
Susan: "I don’t know."

12. rész

Susan: "Oh, great, she caught me staring."
Gabrielle: "Have you guys noticed how friendly Betty’s been since that body was found in front of her house?"
Edie: "I don’t trust friendly women."
Lynette: "That’s okay. They don’t trust you either."
Susan: "I just know those two have something to do with that dead body."
Bree: "Do we even know who he is?"
Susan: "Well the paper said the police are withholding the details."
Gabrielle: "Bree, maybe you should call in a favor from your police detective pal. Have him poke around."
Susan: "That’s a great idea. You could have him do a background check on the Applewhites."
Bree: "I don’t think I can do that."
Susan: "Why not? You said he was nice."
Bree: "Well, once he stopped suspecting me of murdering Rex, he was delightful, but I don’t really know him."
Susan: "Well, somebody has to do something 'cause I’m losing sleep."

Betty: "Hi, Bree."
Bree: "Oh, hi."
Betty: "I just wanted to thank you for your advise on my azaleas. They’re just thriving."
Bree: "Oh. It was no trouble at all."
Betty: "Such a shame I may not be around to enjoy them. Well, my mother has taken ill. And Matthew and I will probably go and visit her. We may even be moving. We just don’t know yet."
Bree: "Oh. Well, where does she live?"
Betty: "Back in Chicago."
Bree: "Is it serious?"
Betty: "I, I don’t know yet. Well, obviously I’ll be speaking with her doctor."
Bree: "Oh, Betty. If there’s anything I can do, anything at all."
Betty: "Thank you. You’ve already done so much. Bye."

Susan: "Oh."
Julie: "That Dr. Ron called. He needs to see you for a follow-up appointment."
Susan: "He needs to see me, or he wants to see me?"
Julie: "Geez, Mom, how cute is this guy?"
Susan: "Oh, he could be cuter, but I don’t know how."
Julie: "So ask him out."
Susan: "Oh no, I can’t do that."
Julie: "Mom, he’s a cute surgeon. What’s the problem?"
Susan: "He’s young."
Julie: "Young?"
Susan: "Younger than me."
Julie: "How much younger?"
Susan: "Let’s just say if I was a senior in high school, I’d be saying, ‘Wow, you’re a hot fifth grader.'"
Julie: "Well, of course it’s going to sound gross if you say it that way. But, you’re both adults so why not just ask him out?"
Susan: "'Cause the conversation could go something like this. 'Dr. Ron, I think you’re hot.' 'Oh. Well, thank you, ma'am. Now I think it’s time we talk about your hip replacement.'"
Julie: "Mom, you’re hot and funny and nice and clearly desperate, and guys are into that. Play to your strengths."

Tom: "Thank god you’re home."
Lynette: "What’s wrong? Pat said you told her it was an emergency."
Tom: "The boys were sent home from school."
Lynette: "What! Why? I called. The machine kept picking up."
Tom: "I know. I know. Look I, they’ve got chicken pox."
Lynette: "Chicken pox? That’s the emergency?"
Tom: "They’re totally contagious."
Lynette: "Not to us."
Tom: "They are to me. I’ve never had it."
Lynette: "Well, you never told me that."
Tom: "The point is, I can’t go in there. It’s a hot zone."
Lynette: "Well, Tom. Somebody’s got to take care of our kids."
Tom: "Exactly. And since you're immune..."
Lynette: "Oh, you gotta be kidding, I have to get back to work."
Tom: "Just for a couple of day, until they’re not contagious."
Lynette: "It is not the Ebola Virus, it’s chicken pox. You are being a baby."
Tom: "Yes, I am.
Lynette: "Okay."
Tom: "And if you think I’m being a baby now, do I need to remind you of what I’m like when I’m sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counseling."
Lynette: "I’ll call the office."
Tom: "Thanks, honey."

Ralph: "Uh, Mrs. Solis, I gotta talk to you."
Gabrielle: "Ralph, if this is about Luis overwatering the hydrangeas again, I told you, no one likes a tattletale."
Ralph: "My wife left me."
Gabrielle: "Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you and Bonita were having problems."
Ralph: "We weren’t. It was all of a sudden. She just packed her bags and left. She said I have an illness. I need to get help."
Gabrielle: "Why?"
Ralph: "There’s nothing wrong with me. I just like to look at pretty ladies on the internet."
Gabrielle: "Uh huh."
Ralph: "Sure, they’re not always dressed and sometimes there’s more than one. But I only go to the classy websites. There’s some really sick stuff out there, Mrs. Solis."
Gabrielle: "Ralph! Make your point."
Ralph: "Um, last night, ah, I found this new website. And there was a picture of a lady sitting on a bear skin rug with nothing on except a little pointy elf hat. It’s very festive."
Gabrielle: "Yeah. Uh, Ralph, why are you telling me this?"
Ralph: "I’m sorry, it's just, um, I think you really need to see this."

Detective Barton: "I’m very glad to hear you say that."
Bree: "I do have to confess that I have an ulterior motive. I need to ask you a favor."
Detective Barton: "Oh, well, shoot, whatever I can do."
Bree: "We have these, um, new neighbors, the Applewhites, it’s a mother and her son, the just moved here from Chicago. And they seem very nice, but there is, there is something about them that’s off. They’re odd."
Detective Barton: "Odd?"
Bree: "Yeah, they’re secretive and watchful and there was a dead body found in front of their house."
Detective Barton: "I can’t run a background check on your neighbors for being odd."
Bree: "Oh."
Detective Barton: "Is that why you wanted to see me, to ask me that?"
Bree: "Yeah, why?"
Detective Barton: "Well, it’s just during the investigation, I just thought there was just a kind of, um, spark between us. You know, I thought this might be a date."
Bree: "Ah, no. I just wanted to ask you a favor."
Detective Barton: "It’s fine. No harm done. When do I ever get to have lunch with such a lovely lady anyway, date or no date."
Bree: "Are you sure that you can’t check on the Applewhites? I mean I just know that there’s something there. And you know I have a sixth sense about people."
Detective Barton: "And yet, you got engaged to the man who murdered your husband."

Gabrielle: "Baby, what you're about to see will most likely shock and upset you."
Carlos: "Okay."
Gabrielle: "Remember Scott, the photographer I was dating when we met? The one I dumped for you, who never really got over it and who I always said was gonna get back at me?"
Carlos: "Mm hmm."
Gabrielle: "Oh, Carlos, I love you so much."
Carlos: "Move. What is this?"
Gabrielle: "Scott's web site with pictures of me on it. Well, say something."
Carlos: "Oh, my god."
Gabrielle: "It was supposed to be funny, a naughty little Christmas gift for my boyfriend."
Carlos: "Oh, my god!"
Gabrielle: "I know, I was freakishly flexible back then. I'm sorry! Look, what are we gonna do about this?"
Carlos: "I guess I’ll call my lawyers."
Gabrielle: "I gave these pictures to him as a gift. He owns them."
Carlos: "Then I guess we’re screwed."
Gabrielle: "Not necessarily. See, here’s what I'm thinking. Scott’s a coward, so you could totally put the scare into him. All you gotta do is go and rough him up, and he'll take my pictures off the web site like that."
Carlos: "I'm sorry, but this is your mistake. You're gonna have to fix it yourself."
Gabrielle: "And I would love to, but I have the upper body strength of a kitten. I need a brute!"
Carlos: "Gaby, I am just now starting to get my rage issues under control. This brute doesn't swing that way anymore, so go find another."
Gabrielle: "Well, when you left prison, did they leave you a contact list?"

Dr. Ron (over the speaker): "This should take about forty-five minutes. Now I know it's really cramped and uncomfortable in there, but try not to move. Susan, I realize that this whole process must be troubling for you."
Susan: "Yeah, it’s pretty troubling."
Dr. Ron: "Well, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this. And I'll be here for you, okay?"
Susan: "Hey, Dr. Ron? I just have a feeling that everything's gonna turn out fine. And when it does, I'd like to buy you dinner to celebrate my health. You know, I was thinking maybe Italian? Oh, what the heck, maybe we can call it a date. If you like. Dr. Ron?"
MRI Technician: "He left awhile ago. He got a phone call from his girlfriend."
Susan: "Oh. Okay. Thank you. I'd like to get out now."
MRI Technician: "Try not to move."

Prostitute: "Hey, can I ask you something?"
Bree: "I'd rather you didn't."
Prostitute: "How'd you get started?"
Bree: "Started?"
Prostitute: "You know, in the escort business?"
Bree: "I beg your pardon."
Prostitute: "I bet the guys go crazy with your whole classy, repressed thing you got going on, huh? I mean, your skin has, like, no pores."
Bree: "I am not sure, but I think there was a compliment in there somewhere, so thank you. But I am not an escort."
Prostitute: "How much you charge a night?"
Bree: "Look, I...five thousand."
Prostitute: "Whoa. What do you have to do exactly for five grand?"

Scott: "Can I help you?"
Carlos: "I'm Carlos Solis. You have, uh, naked pictures of my wife on your web site."
Scott: "Oh. You're, uh, Gabrielle’s husband? Well, you know what? I was just about to take those off anyway."
Carlos: "Oh. That's great. I really appreciate this, Scott."
Scott: "Hey, no problem. To tell you the truth, Gabrielle’s pages weren't exactly raking in the big bucks for me."
Carlos: "I find that hard to believe."
Scott: "I'm not saying Gabrielle’s not a pretty girl. Of course she is. But, uh, she ain't exactly internet pretty, you know?"
Carlos: "What does that mean?"
Scott: "The web's about fantasy, not fashion. I mean, guys surfing for porn, they don't care how the clothes are hanging off the body. They just want to see the goods. So, uh, if little miss nasty ain't rocking some curves..."
Carlos: "My wife has a perfect figure."
Scott: "Don't get me wrong, yeah. Our little Gaby knows how to, uh, work a runway, but, uh, when it comes to cyber loving? No real man's gonna waste tissue on that. There you go. That's all of 'em. So, we cool now?"

13. rész

Betty: "His room? Have your lost your mind?"
Matthew: "Relax, I've taped newspapers to the windows. People can't see in."
Betty: "Caleb, get back down here."
Matthew: "No, no! We had a talk. It's fine. He understands what's gonna happen if he's discovered."
Betty: "For five seconds he understands and then he forgets. You know that."
Matthew: "We can protect him without treating him like an animal."
Betty: "I am keeping him safe from the police, from the Fosters, from himself."
Matthew: "He is not going back downstairs."
Betty: "Since when do you talk to me like that?"
Matthew: "Since I share the risk."

Tom: "How's it going?"
Lynette: "Oh, not good. I’m trying to salvage the pitch from the Black’s Frozen Yogurt campaign. You know what kills me?"
Tom: "Yeah?"
Lynette: "Here we are at t-minus nine hours and eleven minutes from the biggest pitch in our company's history and I have nothing even vaguely presentable."
Tom: "I’ll get the coffee."
Lynette: "Thank you."
Tom: "Do you wanna go over it and toss some ideas around?"
Lynette: "No, that's okay. I know you're exhausted. You should go to bed."
Tom: "Come on, honey. Let's do this. Let's nail this sucker. What do we got?"
Lynette: "We've got nothing."
Tom: "Okay. Okay. Black’s Frozen Yogurt. Let your taste buds come in from the cold. Okay, you know whatever. I’m just knocking the rust off. I can do better than that. I can do better. Black’s the Fro-Yo that makes you go whoa!"
Lynette: "Come on. I’m sorry, I just really need focus here."
Tom: "Okay, Black’s Frozen Yogurt: because our cows are better. Or, no. Or, or, or Frogurt. Frogurt, it's fun to eat, fun to say."
Lynette: "That's actually good."
Tom: "Really?"
Lynette: "No, the cow part. That can work. We'll, we'll make them into characters. We'll humanize them. Oh! I know. I know. Celebrity cow spokespeople."
Tom: "Yes, yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. You know, like make 'em like famous characters like, uh, Reverend Mooo-ny. What do ya, what do you think of that?"

Sister Mary: "Thank you for meeting with me."
Carlos: "Sure. I’d have invited you to the house but the place is real pigsty."
Sister Mary: "Carlos, I’m a nun, not a moron. I know Gabrielle despises me."
Carlos: "She’s just jealous of you, that's all."
Sister Mary: "Of me? Oh, isn't that silly."
Carlos: "She refuses to believe that I can connect with anyone on a spiritual level."
Sister Mary: "We do have an amazing connection. That's why I wanted to talk to you. When I saw you at church, I could tell instantly you're unhappy."
Carlos: "Okay, maybe I've been a little down lately."
Sister Mary: "Tell me."
Carlos: "This whole having kids thing. Sister Mary, I just, I want them so bad."
Sister Mary: "Gabrielle still refuses to give them to you?"
Carlos: "To be fair, she did have a miscarriage recently."
Sister Mary: "What if she decides against kids? What if this is just a stall tactic?"
Carlos: "Then I’m screwed. Sorry, sorry."
Sister Mary: "No, you're right. You're screwed. Unless..."
Carlos: "Unless what?"

Dr. Ron: "So, this is your spleen. Normally, it'd be over here, but because you're missing ligament structure, it has wandered over there right next to your liver. And we discussed it at the staff meeting. Everyone thinks you should have it removed immediately."
Susan: "Oh well, okay. I mean, I guess you guys probably have all sorts of new exciting techniques where you don't even cut open the body?"
Dr. Ron: "No, not really."
Susan: "No? So, we're talking surgery? Well, I guess I can handle that. People get cut open every day."
Dr. Ron: "So, I assuming you’re good with me doing the surgery, right?"
Susan: "You?"
Dr. Ron: "I mean, it seems natural. I know the most about your case. I promise you'll be in very good hands."
Susan: "Oh, ah, well, ah."
Dr. Ron: "What?"
Susan: "The first time you’ll see me naked, I’ll be on an operating table."
Dr. Ron: "Oh, I promise I will be a perfect gentleman. My eyes will be strictly on the spleen."

Tom: "As a matter of fact, there's this one guy who would be perfect."
Lynette: "Yeah?"
Tom: "Yep, hard-working, smart as a whip. Total package."
Lynette: "Really? What's his name?"
Tom: "Tom."
Lynette: "Tom? Tom what?"
Tom: "Tom Scavo."
Lynette: "Oh, no, no! I do not think that that is a good idea."
Tom: "Come on, honey, I mean, the other night doing those pitches, it just got the old juices flowing. I remembered how much I miss having a real job."
Lynette: "You have a real job, right here staying home with the kids."
Tom: "With two incomes, we could afford a top-notch nanny."
Lynette: "What about Penny?"
Tom: "You're the one who fought for office day care. Let's use it."
Lynette: "What about the two of us working and living together? I think that could be a recipe for disaster."
Tom: "Why? The last time that we worked together, we fell in love."
Lynette: "Oh, it's just, I'm, I’m not sure that you would find this job that satisfying."
Tom: "You don't think I’m good enough, do you?"
Lynette: "I’m not saying that."

Father Crowley: "How long has it been since your last confession?"
Gabrielle: "Who cares? Father, it's me."
Father Crowley: "Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah. Look, I need you to do something for me. I need you to get rid of Sister Mary Bernard."
Father Crowley: "What? Why?"
Gabrielle: "Because she's ruining my marriage."
Father Crowley: "Sister Mary?"
Gabrielle: "Yes! At first it started with the love letters while he was in prison, and the next thing I know, they're spending day and night together, sneaking off to private bible study, and, and one-on-one spiritual consultation."
Father Crowley: "Gabrielle-"
Gabrielle: "And if that wasn't enough, he is saying her name in his sleep. ‘Hold me, Sister Mary, hold me.’ It's disgusting. He's like a lovesick puppy."
Father Crowley: "Do you have reason to believe that your husband and Sister Mary are having sex? Speak from the heart, Gabrielle. This is just between me, you, and God."
Gabrielle: "Yeah. Yep. They're having sex. Carlos confessed everything right before he asked for an annulment."

Susan: "So this whole splenectomy thing, you feel good about it, huh?"
Dr. Ron: "Yeah, yeah, I told you. It's a routine surgery. You're gonna be fine."
Susan: "Right, right. Actually, I sort of meant, um, do you personally feel confident?"
Dr. Ron: "What do you mean?"
Susan: "Well, you know, you're gonna be hacking into me, and I just wanted to make sure that you feel ready."
Dr. Ron: "I've never taken out a spleen before. But believe me, it's no big deal. Spleen, gallbladder, it's all the same."
Susan: "Okay, red flag! See, I didn't go to medical school, but I’m thinking, not all the same."
Dr. Ron: "Susan, I know what I’m doing. You're gonna have to trust me. Okay?"
Susan: "I would like to. But I gotta be honest, the fact that you can't even cut that steak isn't helping."
Dr. Ron: "That's not fair. You overcooked it, and, frankly, it's not the freshest meat."
Susan: "Well, neither am I. I've got thirty-five years on that cow."
Dr. Ron: "Wait, Susan, are you saying you don't want me to be your surgeon?"
Susan: "I’m sorry. I don't mean this to sound the wrong way. I just, I would be more comfortable with an experienced surgeon."
Dr. Ron: "That's okay. I understand."
Susan: "Thank you."
Dr. Ron: "I should really be going."
Susan: "What? I didn't even serve dessert yet. You said you understood!"
Dr. Ron: "No, I do, I do. I respect your decision to see another doctor, but you know what? You need to respect that my feelings are hurt."
Susan: "What? You want me to put my life on the line to service your ego?"
Dr. Ron: "I save lives every day. I cut. I save. I cut. I save. That's what I do, and if that gives me an out-of-control ego, well, maybe I need that to cut into another human being."

Matthew: "I got your note. What's going on?"
Danielle: "Are you hiding someone in your house?"
Matthew: "What?"
Danielle: "My mom saw someone in your second story window. She thinks it's the guy who broke into Mrs. Solis'."
Matthew: "Damn it, Caleb."
Danielle: "Is that his name?"
Matthew: "Has she told anybody else?"
Danielle: "She left messages on her friends' machines. They're coming over soon to get details."
Matthew: "We're gonna have to leave tonight. This is..."
Danielle: "Why? What's going on?"
Matthew: "I would love to tell you, believe me, I would. But I can’t."
Danielle: "If you trust me, I could help you. My family has secrets, too."
Matthew: "What my brother did, it's bad."
Danielle: "Last year my brother did something really awful, and my parents covered it up for him. If anyone were to ever find out, Andrew and my mom could go to jail. So you don't have to worry about me judging you. Tell me your secrets. I'll understand."
Matthew: "Okay. But you tell me yours first."

Carlos: "What the hell were you thinking?"
Gabrielle: "Uh, depends. What have you heard?"
Carlos: "I got a call from the church. They said you attacked Sister Mary!"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, that's about right."
Carlos: "What are you thinking?"
Gabrielle: "I wasn't, but I was thinking about it on the way over here. And I realized the ass I should be kicking is yours."
Carlos: "Mine?"
Gabrielle: "Yes! Sister Mary manipulated you into threatening me, but you're the idiot that fell for it."
Carlos: "I was not threatening you. I was asking for a promise."
Gabrielle: "You made me a promise, Carlos, a long time ago: till death do us part. And one day you just come home and start throwing words around like annulment. How do you think that makes me feel?"
Carlos: "Okay, I’m sorry about that. I need to have a child."
Gabrielle: "And I need to know I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just some uterus in high heels."
Carlos: "Gabrielle, please."
Gabrielle: "No, Carlos, I am sorry. I am not gonna be blackmailed into giving birth. You have to choose. And I wish you would do it so I can move on with my life."
Carlos: "Well, of course I choose you."
Gabrielle: "I think that's the right decision. You know, I made a decision, too. The answer to your question earlier is yes."
Carlos: "Yes..."
Gabrielle: "I wanna have a baby. I wanna have a baby with you."

Bree: "Betty. What a surprise."
Betty: "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Bree: "Uh, now is actually not a good time for me."
Betty: "I think it is. I wanted to chat with you before you did something foolish."
Bree: "I don't know what you mean."
Betty: "The person you saw at my house today is my other son. His name is Caleb. He didn't harm Gabrielle, and he didn't hurt the man in the car trunk. That's all you need to know."
Bree: "He's your son?"
Betty: "He's my dear son who happens to be slow. Sometimes he makes mistakes."
Bree: "But, Betty, the police are looking for him. He escaped from that facility they sent him to."
Betty: "He had help, trust me. I've always thought the maternal instinct is one of nature's most amazing gifts. I mean, the length that some mothers will go to to protect their children, it drives ordinary women to do extraordinary things. Women like me, Bree, and like you."
Bree: "What are you talking about?"
Betty: "If you breathe one word of Caleb's existence to anyone, I will tell Carlos, Gabrielle, and the police that it was your son driving the car that killed Juanita Solis and that you have been covering up his crime ever since. We're gonna be great friends, Bree. We have so much in common."