ACT II

Act II scene i

EXT, CRUISE LINER, NIGHT

SUPER: New York, 1948

SFX: The “pooop” of a cruise liner’s horn

Camera shot of SPIKE’s face, black hair combed back. The camera pulls back to reveal him standing on deck of a cruise ship that’s about to dock. He’s sillhoutted against the New York Skyline, wearing a slick suit and a long overcoat and a hat. He sparks up a cigarette and looks at the city for a moment)

SPIKE: So Dru. Is this where I’ll find you?

There’s a mewing-howling noise behind him. A cat shoots towards him across the deck. He reaches out and grabs it, absent-mindedly and snaps its neck.

O.S VOICE: Hey! That’s mine!

The camera pans round to show CLEM, wearing low-ranking US Military uniform. He’s panting.

Act II scene ii

CUT TO: INT. STARBUCKS, PRESENT

BUFFY’s looking at CLEM in disbelief.

BUFFY: You were in the army?

CLEM: (nodding proudly, which makes his ears waggle) Uh huh. I may be a demon, but I love my country. Plus, I got hidden talents that the military wanted . . . I secrete this fluid see . . .

BUFFY: So how about the exploding people huh?

CLEM: Uh. Sorry.

BUFFY: My bad. Sitting still and listening is not a skill I’ve honed. Balancing daggers on my chin I can do... But, sorry, go on.

Act II scene iii

INT. SMOKY JAZZ BAR, 1948

CLEM and SPIKE and a few other demons are sitting round a poker table. A basket of mewing kittens is placed in the middle of the table. A HORNED DEMON is dealing

HORNED DEMON: (Irish) So what brings you to New York boyo.

SPIKE: I’m looking for this girl, see. Drusilla. I don’t suppose you’ve . . . (he looks hopefully at the other demons on the table. Clem shrugs pleasantly and shakes his head) Ah bugger. I’ll have to hunt her down myself.

HORNED DEMON: Ah. Chassy la femme, to be sure. No, I don’t know her. But there’s plenty of other girls round about here.

SPIKE: (Hint of threat in his voice) I’m not interested in other girls. I’m looking for my lady.

At that moment, a SINGER walks onto the stage at the front of the club and the band strikes up the first chords of “Mad about the Boy”. It’s the same SINGER we saw in the modern-day jazz club. Piercing green eyes and wearing a shimmery gold dress.

HORNED DEMON: The Lady!

SINGER/LADY smiles at the audience. Then Her expression switches to mournful as she starts to sing.

THE LADY: Mad about the boy,
It's pretty funny,
But I'm mad about the boy;
He has a gay appeal that makes me feel
There's maybe something sad about the boy.
Camera switches to SPIKE’s poker table as she continues to sing. SPIKE watches, taken by the music. CLEM has his face in his hands, loving it too.

THE LADY: Walking down the street,
His eyes look out at me from people that I meet;
I can't believe it's true, but when I'm blue,
I some strange way, I'm glad about the boy.

The HORNED DEMON is looking at Spike. His expression changes from super-cool to dopey-lovey-dovey.

HORNED DEMON: Spike…

SPIKE: Sh! I’m listening to the music.

HORNED DEMON: Your cheekbones . . . they’re amazing.

SPIKE: Are you trying to be funny?

HORNED DEMON: (earnestly) No! Please, I’d never want to hurt you. You’re the most beautiful . . .

SPIKE shoves the table violently, sending cards and kittens flying.

SPIKE: That’s it! I don’t know what your game is but . . .
He launches at the HORNED DEMON. CLEM and the other demons jump out of the way. The LADY continues.

THE LADY:
A little magic that would finally destroy
This dream that pains me and enchains me, but I can't,
Because I'm mad about the boy!

SPIKE is grappling with the DEMON.

HORNED DEMON: Oh yes! Please! Embrace me! My heart burns for you!

SPIKE punches the demon in the face.

HORNED DEMON: Oh, my heart, my love!

SPIKE: You little . . . (he starts to throttle the demon. The HORNED DEMON’S chest starts to bubble, like something out of ALIENS) Uh?

SPIKE jumps out of the way as the HORNED DEMON’s chest bursts open with a nasty splattering sound and the DEMON falls heavily onto the next table, sending a candle flying. This sets Spike’s tailored suit jacket alight.

SPIKE: Oi! Not the jacket! Never the jacket!

Act II scene iv

INT. STARBUCKS, PRESENT, DAY

BUFFY and CLEM are still in Starbucks.

BUFFY: So. Where the Lady goes, there’s the love, then there’s the death. Add in some leaving and you’ve got the teleplay of me.

CLEM: Aww, Slayer! That’s so sad I could cry. (apologetic) If I had the ducts. Really!

BUFFY: Sounds it maybe. But you know? I’m kinda over myself.

CLEM: You’re a real role model, you know that?

BUFFY: God I hope not! And we were talking about slaying evil weren’t we? You let me get all diversiony!

CLEM: Sorry. But I like hearing you talk about you. It’s interesting. Better than Passions even.

BUFFY: That’s good (she pauses and looks at him suspiciously) so long as this isn’t going to turn into you going all weird and intense then having some part of you drop off with love?

CLEM: (thinks) No. I don’t think so. I’m good.

BUFFY: (slurps last part of her drink) Ok. I’m feeling focused. Professional. Ready to get to the root of this mystery. Show the forces of darkness who’s who. (pause) Or I might ask Willow to do it. (smiles) It’s . . . so nice. Being able to spread the load a bit. Delegate. I’m getting good at doing that. (She grins)

CLEM: How’s it feel? Not being the only one any more?

BUFFY: That’s like when people ask you on your birthday, “how does it feel being 21”. It doesn’t feel . . . I’m still the same, you know? I’m still Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

At this, demon ears prick up around the café. A few demons scrape back their chairs, slowly, carefully, then get the hell out of there. CLEM makes an apologetic face at one of them while BUFFY’s looking at her drink. She’s too wrapped up in her own thoughts to really notice them.

BUFFY: I know the “The” part’s not right any more. But it’s still who I am. Partly. (Clem makes to interrupt but he doesn’t get the chance) You know, it’s been forever since there’s been someone around to just listen to me talk into the distance. I mean, in a non-speechifying way. Normally, only time I get people listening without butting is when I’m telling them where to stick their pointy ends . . . of weapons . . . it’s good to talk like this and . . . there’s a definite babble factor here, huh? (She looks at her empty cup, and the three other empties next to her) Starbucks is evil.

Act II scene v

CUT TO: FLASHBACK, JAZZ BAR, 1948, NIGHT

SPIKE and CLEM are standing by the fallen imploded body of the Horned Demon. The club has emptied. People clearly left in a hurry. There’s a lot of overturned chairs.

SPIKE: What the bloody hell happened there?

CLEM: (cheerily) Seems (clicks his fingers, starts to sing) somebody loves you!

SPIKE: Want me to rip your fingers off?

CLEM shakes his head. His skin wobbles.

SPIKE: I don’t like this at . . .

He turns suddenly. The LADY is standing behind him, still and composed, giving off a slight radiance.

LADY: Hey sugar.

SPIKE: Oh. S’you. (quiet respect)Good set, luv.

LADY: I’m glad you liked it.

CLEM: (shyly) It was . . . wow . . . you . . . you’re the best! Really!

LADY: Perhaps you boys would like to go on somewhere? I’m feeling . . . lonely tonight.

CLEM: I’m kinda beat. It’s been a long trip from Tipperary. (Yawns and turns to go) See you around Spike. And . . . uh . . .any chance of the... (looks awkward and holds his hands up like kitty paws)

SPIKE: You’ll get the kittens.

CLEM: (hopefully) Including the tabby?

SPIKE inhales through his nostrils. CLEM scarpers.


LADY: So how about it? You and me? A stroll in the moonlight?

SPIKE: Luv, you’re a sight for sore eyes and all. But I’m looking for my lady friend. Name of Drusilla. Someone told me she might be here.

LADY looks sad.

LADY: Ah. Drusilla. She’s searching for you. I heard you left her in Europe.

SPIKE: What? I was press-ganged by the bloody . . . never mind. (eagerly) Where can I find her?

LADY: (forlornly) Don’t know. But Manhattan’s not such a big place. I’m sure you’ll find her.

SPIKE: Cheers luv!

SPIKE rushes off leaving the LADY

LADY: (sitting down at a table) Alone again.
Then she gets up again and pads away through the empty club.

Act II scene vi

INT. A TRENDY BOHEMIAN NYC CAFE., PRESENT

WILLOW and ANDREW are sitting at a table. WILLOW’s on her computer and ANDREW’s absorbed in a book. The other customers are studenty looking, all denim and weird haircuts. A lot of them working on their laptops too, no doubt writing the next great screenplay. ANDREW’s changed out of his Italian starwars t-shirt into a stylish shirt. His stint in Italy definitely had a good effect on his dress sense if not his inner cool. He looks up.

ANDREW: Maybe it’s a jazz demon? That would be way cool. Like (imitates trumpet) bibbedy bibbedy bibbedy (makes swipe with air-trumpet) kapow! Die human scum! (realises he’s getting looks and pouts) Students are so stuck up.

WILLOW’s phone starts to ring with “I’m under your spell” from OMWF as the tone. WILLOW fumbles in her bag.

ANDREW: Molto coolio tone!

WILLOW: Yeah (beat) It’s a song I heard once.

ANDREW: It’s like…if Sarah Maclachlan was big with the digital mood and . . .

WILLOW has found the phone now. She picks up, cutting across Andrew as she answers.

WILLOW: Buffy, hey!

ANDREW: (slightly petulant) Can I download it off you?

WILLOW: How’s the investigation going? (pauses to listen) That's - - but - - do - - (She can't get a word in, makes yappy-hand signs at ANDREW) Have you been at the lattes again? (scowls) Whaddya mean yes mom? (pause. Willow looks surprised) He’s here?

ANDREW reacts with a shocked start.

WILLOW: (nodding) Sure, you take some time out, catch up. We’ll do the do be do be do . . . sorry, Andrew was getting all Jazzy before. (pause) Well, say hey to him for me! Sure. Bye now.
She clicks the phone off.

ANDREW: (warily) So . . . Buffy knows he’s alive?

WILLOW: You saw him too huh? I didn’t know you guys knew each other?

ANDREW: Us not know each . . . we fought side by side! He’s a shining light in dark places.(sighs) He’s amazing.

WILLOW: (completely thrown for a loop) Ok, we talking about the same Clem here? Fighting? Shining? Though, he does have a nice smile I guess.

The penny drops for ANDREW. He does a surprisingly good job of poker face-ing it.

ANDREW: Fighting side by side. Uh yeah . . . there was . . . I did tae kwando…at a demon gym in Sunnydale. When I was evil. (pulling himself together) So how is my old buddy Clem?

WILLOW looks at him, brows furrowed for a moment. Then shrugs, putting it down to Andrewness.

WILLOW: All good. Buffy’s going to have some downtime and hang out with him. She’s really found the fun since Italy. Not . . . that she’s slacking. She’s given me some info that might help us out. So, you want to help me kill the girl and save the day?

ANDREW: (firmly) I always want to. (beat) Save the day, not kill girls. (nodding seriously) That’s sexist.

Act II scene vii

INT. A SCHOOL LIBRARY

The camera moves through the open door of a well-stocked library. GILES is leading a YOUNG MAN with dark hair around the shelves. The MAN’s wearing a shirt and chinos, looking a little bit Merchant Ivory/Room with a View. He’s listening keenly to what GILES has to say, occasionally pulling a volume off the shelf and poring over it with the kind of love that Anya used to show for a till full of money. He looks charming but potentially random and eccentric. But there’s iron in there somewhere. When he speaks his voice is English, not particularly posh but well spoken.

GILES: It’s taken a while, but I think you’ll find we now have quite an impressive collection.

HUGO: (holding a volume, looking impressed) How on earth did you get the D’ath Book of the Undead? First edition!

GILES: An army of Slayers just a phone call away. It tends to make underworld book dealers amazingly co-operative.

HUGO: Phew. It would do. (he looks around, then at Giles) Thanks Rupert. I really appreciate this opportunity. S’big of you.

GILES: You’re more than qualified for the job.

HUGO: Oh, I know that. (cheeky smile) I’m a boy wonder. But. . .thanks all the same.

GILES: It’s the least I could do.(mockney) Francis has brought you up a real gentleman(tips Hugo a wink)

HUGO: Thanks Magwitch.(beat, laughs)Magwarlock.

The library door bangs and ANDREW comes rushing in, breaking the moment

ANDREW: Hey Giles, I’m looking for . . . who’s this?

HUGO: (holding out a hand) Hugo Jackson.

ANDREW shakes his hand, looking thrown. He’s not good with new things and people if he can’t slot them into his story version of the world.

GILES: Our very first school librarian.

ANDREW: (disappointed) But he’s . . . not old.

GILES scowls.

HUGO: (slight raised eyebrow) Don’t worry, I’m very responsible. I shall hardly ever vomit on the books when I’m pissed.

ANDREW: Pissed? Oh, Inglese!. (He breaks into a smile and holds out his hands, mafia style and kisses Hugo on both cheeks. The world makes more sense to him now. He stands up straighter, moves into a more authoritative, formal mode). Welcome to Slayer School. I’m Andrew. Andrew Wells.

HUGO: Very nice to meet you. But I thought it was Joyce Summers Memorial College?

ANDREW: (nodding sagely) True, that is the face we show the world. But Joe Public must never know what truly transpires behind these walls. (beat) Will transpire . . . when school starts.

GILES: What was it you’re looking for, Andrew?

ANDREW: (lists on his fingers) Books on love spells . . . books on music-related spells . . . oh, and the latest Anne Rice. (thinks) Though, the Vampire Chronicles have been kinda going downhill since . . .

GILES: (cuts across) Hugo, would you do the honours?

HUGO nods and heads over to the shelves.

ANDREW: I think we might be looking for a vengeance demon. Cos, men burning up with love, that sounds like a V.D’s modus operandi.

O.S CLAUDIA: What a charming abbreviation.

GILES: (awkward) Oh, hullo Claudia. Are you . . .

CLAUDIA: I’m fine, thank you. No longer in a gerontophilic mood.

(Giles scowls and Claudia smiles wickedly. She looks up and notices Hugo)

CLAUDIA: At last. An attractive man.

HUGO walks over carrying two books.

HUGO: Andrew, do you want both volumes of Amor Perfidius? (notices Claudia) Hallo. (extends a hand) Hugo Jackson. Librarian.

CLAUDIA: (takes hand, shakes it) Claudia Gorman. Slayer.

HUGO: (a brief look of confusion passes over his face) Claudia? Oh. (shifts to pleasant and affable) A pleasure.

Act II scene vi

EXT. CENTRAL PARK, 1948, NIGHT
DRUSILLA is standing on a hill in a clearing. It’s a moonlit night. She’s singing softly to herself.

DRUSILLA: Mad about the boy . . . hmm hmmm . . . A little magic that would finally destroy . . . This dream that pains me and enchains me, but I can't…(curiously, suspiciously) Spike?

SPIKE steps out of the shadows

SPIKE: Right you are luv. I’m here. I’ve come back for you.

(He paces forward, she edges back like a cornered animal)

DRU: (growls) You’re not welcome my Spike. (turns away from him) The moon says you don’t love me.

SPIKE: (approaches her slowly) Moon’s talking bollocks then Dru.

DRU: You ran away to sea and left me. I won’t listen to you.

DRU covers her ears. SPIKE grabs her hands, pulls them round him.

SPIKE: I didn’t sodding run! I was sandbagged by the bloody Boche! And I woke up on this submarine, see . . .

SPIKE’s voice trails off as Dru gives him a stern, sarcastic look.

DRU: Hmh!

SPIKE: Oh, I don’t care how it sounds. Every moment without you. . . it’s been torture. Just like every minute with you’s torture. . .sweet, precious, exquisite. . . torture.

SPIKE leans slowly to kiss her but she pulls away. He has hold of her wrists and pulls her back, spinning her into his arms.

DRU: (hisses) I was alone. . . I couldn’t get the stars to sing. I couldn’t hear the beautiful music. (angry) I think I hate you. . .(maliciously) Willy.

SPIKE: Oi!

DRU: (softer) My William.

DRU snaps her teeth in the air near his neck, then moves in for the kiss.

DRU: I'll show you -- torture.

SPIKE: Will you now?

DRU vamps, bites his cheek savagely, spins away. SPIKE recoils, holding his face.

DRU: Might.

DRU de-vamps starts swirling in circles and looking up at the moon. Then she stops and looks at him.

DRU: The world’s cold tonight. Some people have rocks in their hearts and they can’t feel the air. Can’t feel anything.

SPIKE: We can. I can. My blood -- it's searing Dru.

DRU draws her finger across SPIKE's scar and then across his lips.

DRU: I can taste you -- I'd forgot how my Spike tastes. (Whimpers slightly) Promise you won't leave me.

SPIKE: (forceful) I could never leave you.

DRU: Never ever?

SPIKE: Never and beyond.

DRU [laughs rudely, and rakes her fingers down his chest] Then we can play.

The camera pans away down the hill but we still hear DRU giggling and singing and SPIKE’s excited but unnecessary breath. The camera eventually rests on a dark figure. In the moonlight her eyes glow green. It’s the LADY.

INT. BEDROOM, 1948, DAY

The camera opens on SPIKE’s face. One cheek bears a red raw scratch and there’s a couple of bruises under his left eye. His eyes are closed. With a “mph” and a twitch he starts to come awake. The camera pans out to reveal his mussed up black hair, then further out and we see he’s lying in a well-ruffled bed in a beautifully furnished apartment. He opens his eyes and tries to get up, then realizes his arms are shackled. He tries to kick off the covers, then remembers his legs are shackled too. He smiles.

SPIKE: (murmurs) Dru? (he waits. Then louder) Dru luv? Are you going to untie me? Or . . . is there (hopefully) more? (He winces slightly, but happily)

O.S LADY: She’s not here.

SPIKE starts, making his chains rattle.

SPIKE: You! What have you done to her?

LADY: (sitting down on the bed. She speaks calmly, eyeing Spike) I staked her.

SPIKE lets out a roar. Vamping out, he tries to pull loose from his chains.

LADY: Not really.

SPIKE glares in angry confusion.

LADY: She’s…safe. Asleep. A little potion. The same I gave you. But more. I’m not interested in her. I’m interested in you.

SPIKE: And now what? You want to recruit me into your demon army or something? Cos I’m getting bloody bored of this conscription lark.

SPIKE wrestles, frustrated, with his bonds, but he’s weak. He sinks back on the pillow with a whispered “balls!”.
LADY gets up, quietly and walks over to the window where she stands in a shaft of sunlight.

SPIKE: What do you want from me you crazy. . .

LADY: (cuts him off) Nothing. That’s all I ever want. Feel. Nothing. Or . . . nothing good.

SPIKE: What, you want me to feel sorry for you? Have to tell you pet, drugging a feller’s not the best way to get his sympathy.

LADY: I don’t want your sympathy.

LADY gives him a long, inscrutable look. The sun lights her green eyes and her hair casts shadows on her beautiful pale face.

LADY: I want you to love me.

END ACT II

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EPPY 8:"SCATTERED", OUT TODAY!